


Jos toivo on

by Latiria



Category: Stand Still Stay Silent
Genre: F/M, M/M, give a word to each character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-26
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:27:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 9,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22410985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Latiria/pseuds/Latiria
Summary: Everyone needs a hope for something...While waiting for the canon, it's hard not to start thinking about possible scenarios. And sometimes strange thoughts run very far...Warning: english is not the author's native language
Relationships: Reynir Árnason/Onni Hotakainen, Sigrun Eide/Mikkel Madsen, Sigrun Eide/Onni Hotakainen
Comments: 15
Kudos: 12





	1. Chapter 1

## 1

The air smells of ripe berries and pine needles. The summer is ending, but it isn't comforting – there are too many places for the creatures to hide, and too few – for him to hide himself. He needs to try to get new shoes and something to come up with his clothes. Soon one fur coat won't be enough. 

Sleep was hard. The deeper he went into the abandoned lands, the more dangerous it became. The more vigilant it was necessary to control what was happening around. Yes, in many ways, he has already got used to this state of things, has already stopped being afraid – and what's the point when you have nothing left but hope. Small, faint, like the flame of a freshly prepared wax candle: you never know for sure whether it will light up or go out, drowning in wax.

A small stopping point appeared ahead: a few houses along a dilapidated road. No activity inside. Silence. As practice has shown, one of these buildings should be a store. It's worth looking for something useful there.

Behind them, in the distance, the dead city is showed gray behind the treetops. A light shiver run through his body. It's hard when you can hear so far away. Whether you like it or not, luonto's strength and abilities are transferred to you. Especially here, when feelings are at the limit, when the silence scares more than the rustling of the forest. Hearing and vigilance – his curse from the age of three.

Something crunches in his shoulder again. For the last time, he had to sleep between the roots of an overgrown tree, buried in leaves and broken branches. His back was stiff and aching all the first half of the day, and his head was ringing from some annoying creature that kept pulling the strings. It still follows him. And, apparently, intentionally. There are five kilometers only between them, maybe six. He should try to prepare an ambush.

"Whatever you are – we'll meet soon."


	2. Chapter 2

## 2

The foot slipped off the hummock again. It's not a forest, but a swamp. Wherever they went, whatever road they chose, there was swamp, roots of tall trees and ruins. Most old world buildings haven't survived the last 90 years. In abandoned Denmark, things were better, although there were more trolls. On the other hand, there was a big city there, and now they keep a safer distance...

The pit again. The leg sank almost knee-deep in mud. How did people live here before? He scratched the back of his neck, scraping at the dirt with his fingernails, then involuntarily straightened hair on the back of his head. Tuuri said that Finns wash in saunas, heating the room to a high temperature, so the sweat and dirt themselves come off the body like old skin. He wishes he could find one here. Now. Even the thought of a soft bed did not torment him as much as the possibility of a bath. Does anyone else care?

Beyond the next ravine, the old road suddenly broke through the forest, and behind a thin line of trees on the other side of it, tall gray houses appeared, in places overgrown with moss and loach.

"I don't think we should go there," Mikkel said judiciously, signaling Reynir to put on his mask. Over the past year, Emil had grown used to his voice, to this stupid Danish accent, although some of the words were still unintelligible. Lally didn't even turn at the sound of his voice, but kept walking toward the road, eyes narrowed, rifle in his right hand.

"Don't drift." A cheerful voice cut in behind him. "There's in bulk of time until tonight, and we are not idiots to go to the center. Look at our little mage. There's nothing here".

"Here's nothing anythere." Emil muttered, not hiding his displeasure. "We saw the last of Onni's camp spot three days ago".

"But those strings lead here."

"We don't know if they belong to Onni," Emil's indignation grew stronger. "As far as I can tell, Lally has never seen him do anything like this before."

"Has Lally ever seen anything that didn't directly concern him?"

The Dane's last remark was jarring, but there was a grain of truth in it. Lally was clearly worried. And it is possible he did not know his cousin much better than the other members of the team.

Sigrun had recently told them that Onni has been chosen to go on their first expedition instead of Tuuri and Lally. Trond told her the fat Finn Taru had had high hopes for the elder Hotakainen. Only Onni flatly refused to leave Keuruu. Emil didn't know the real reason, but after a while Lalli's cousin found himself in Mora, on the other end of the radio wave. Why? And when they first met in Iceland, Onni didn't look much like the guy in the photo of Tuuri — a heavy, short-cropped figure with a faded look under lowered brows.

Emil did not like riddles and didn't believe in magic until recently. But that didn't change the fact that they existed. Tuuri said mages need to rest after using magic. Lally saved him by putting a shield between them and the giant then fell into a prolonged coma and almost died. And if the bird of fire that saved them in Denmark was created by Onni... what state was he in then? And how did he bear the loss of his younger sister? No wonder he'd lost his weight and grew his hair.

In any case, Emil was willing to accept the current reality for two reasons: because he wanted to help Lally, and because he felt obligated to his cousin.

Deep in thought, Emil didn't notice how they reached the first surviving building in the city. Sigrun and Mikkel went to investigate and soon returned with a pair of waterproof raincoats and a can of water. Kitty, sitting in Reynir's arms, hissed softly, but her excitement was understandable. He and Lally stood a little apart, waiting for the others to return. Each had a knife drawn, and Mikkel took a rifle from behind his back, but held it more like a stick than a weapon. That's right, they need to be quiet.

In an attempt to do something useful, Emil climbed onto the remains of the car to look around. The wind howled through the broken windows of empty houses, ruffling leaves and driving pollen through the overgrown streets. The sun was slowly sinking behind a distant horizon hidden by trees. The days in this area were short, but hot, which made his neck itch even more.

"Get out!" Sigrun's cry was low, but sharp enough that Emil jerked and slipped on the moss-covered roof. Fortunately, the ground wasn't far away. "Why you are so..."

Before he could finish, something rustled and squawked under the car behind him. Emil looked up and froze. "No way! You again?!»

The one who came up with the first rule of survival, clearly did not live to create the second. Which could only sound like this: "Run as fast as you can and don't look back". Emil's first encounter with the dusklings didn't end well, so he didn't plan to shoot them or chat with them. All hope was that his legs had learned to run faster.

Emil quickly caught up with Mikkel. Sigrun, Reynir, and Lally ran ahead. It was strange to hear muffled wheezes with occasional bursts of pig squeal behind them instead of the voices that had once echoed "fOoD, FoOd, fOOd". Dusklings ran after them, hiding behind tree trunks and bushes that grew along the road, which greatly slowed their movement. But very soon it will be dark, and then they wouldn't be stopped.

About two or three kilometers from the city, when Emil's lungs were burning with pain, Sigrun offered to let Reynir and Lally go ahead, and the three of them would stop and fight here. Emil didn't like this prospect. It was hard to tell how many dusklings there were in total. Maybe two or three dozen, but it seemed unlikely to Emil fighting off these creatures without loss, using only a sword, knives, and a rifle as a stick. Emil could not see Mikkel's face, but from the way the Dane leaned forward, quickening his pace, it was clear that Sigrun was in a rage.

Emil was clearly behind the team. Lally called out to him and waved the rifle forward frantically. Emil wiped the sweat from his forehead, hissing out the air that cut his lungs, and stared at the dark buildings a few meters away. They looked solid. A little more and maybe they will be able to hide inside and gradually destroy the creatures that followed them, which now began to get out on the road and accelerate their run.

Then he felt a small beast leap onto his back, clutching the edge of his cloak. A rotten smell hit his nostrils, and one of the claws dug into his shoulder. But suddenly something whistled right at his ear, and diskling fell down. Emil miraculously kept his balance and ran forward with the last of his strength. To his right, there was another whistle, and behind him something collapsed and rolled over heels to the grunt of several disgusting creatures.

"Whatever it is, just run!" It throbbed in his head.

Emil’s eyes were covered with sweat, and everything seemed to be floating in a fog. Ahead of him was heard Reynir's cry, more sounded like a screaming of happy dog sees its master. Sigrun was running toward Emil, waving her sword belligerently and shouting at him. His ears were buzzing. Emil turned, thrusting his sword forward, ready to take the blow. He could no run any longer.

With a whoosh, an arrow with a mottled plumage flew into the head of the nearest beast. Emil turned his head, breathing deeply, followed the arrow's trajectory. A furry shadow stood in the second-floor window of the nearest building. No, it was definitely a man. He was wearing a fur cloak with a hood, one leg resting on the frame, his right hand clutching a long bow, and half of his face was covered by a black mask. The next moment the figure leaned forward, and the twilight light was reflected in its eyes, which were round with surprise and glittering with cold steel.


	3. Chapter 3

## 3

"All right, all right. It really wasn't that bad. Can I have an extra bite?"

Until a couple of hours ago, she had assumed that the man with the disgruntled bird behind his shoulders had gone crazy. (Who knows what happens in people's heads when they are alone for a long time?) At first, he forgot how to sleep, and for some reason went to the forest in the middle of the night. Although after a while he returned with three bird carcasses, along with them he brought a terrible broom of stinking herbs and prickly branches with blue berries. Some of them he had plucked with the roots, and the black earth hung down in lumps.

Kitty decided that it was a gift for a tall red-haired woman. She had spent the past two days often hovering around the new man, actively waving her arms and shouting something loudly, pointing a finger at him, and hanging on to him and the blond guy named Emil. Kitty didn't particularly like the redhead, being jealous for Mikkel and fearing her unpredictability, but now she felt real pity for her. She had already seen strange tufts of grass that people from the big island gave to each other, but at least they smelled good, and the earth did not fall off them...

The man dropped the herbs and began to disembowel the birds. And then the strangest thing began: he put the entrails in a large pot, and washed the carcasses, which was still covered with feathers, stuffed berries and herbs from the collected broom into them and began to smear mud from the banks of the ravine on them. Then he put them in the embers on one side of the campfire and covered them with tufts of coarse grass and prickly branches.

The fur on Kitty's withers stood on end, and she desperately rushed to the pot with the remains of the birds, hoping to save something. What will this madman decide to do with them? Throw them in the gutter? Hang them on a tree?

She hissed menacingly at the man as his hand reached for the pot, and the bird spread its wings wide behind him, but the man only grunted and whispered back something that consisted of low "h", "k", and "s" and long "a" and "i". He took off his glove and ran his fingers over her head, pulling down the tousled fur. The hand was hot, the skin - rough, and the fingers - nimble. What an injustice: how can people with such hands be mad? Kitty purred blissfully and didn't even notice the man taking the dish from under her nose.

Fortunately, at least with the giblets, he managed well: filling them with water and putting them on the fire, he threw a few roots into the brew and calmed down for a while, staring at the fire. There was nothing left of the terrible bouquet. This calmed Kitty a little, and she ventured to climb into the man's lap, hoping it would be warmer there. She could clearly feel his fingers gently sliding over the fur on her back while she was chasing ugly gulls and catching fat fish in her dreams.

The rest of the team slept under a low makeshift canopy of branches. This time they camped in a ravine at the edge of the stream, and they needed something to cover them from above. It was extremely inconvenient and noisy for large people to get out from under the canopy. Kitty woke up by the awakening of Mikkel, who managed to punch the freckled Reynir who was sleeping next to him, step on the redhead's thigh, and finally tip the awning over Emil. The thin guy was already sitting motionless by the fire, as if pretending to be a small shadow of her midnight new friend. He was holding a bowl full of fragrant broth.

She was slowly lowered to the ground next to a makeshift plate piled high with pieces of meat. Over the hurried chewing, Kitty could barely hear what was happening around her. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see everyone sitting around the fire, actively talking. The red-haired Sigrun was waving her hands as always, this time with a spoon clutched in one of them, and trying to poke it at Emil. Mikkel was critically examining the pot and the ingredients floating inside it. Reynir sipped the broth from a bowl, keeping his eyes on their new team member, who in his turn took the blackened carcasses of birds from the coals and smashed one of them on the ground. The layer of petrified mud cracked like a shell and the intoxicating fragrant juice sprayed out in different directions.

Happily chewing on a juicy wing, Kitty decided that she would no longer judge people badly. Even when they're crazy. 


	4. Chapter 4

## 4

«Why?»

«... and we thought she was quite ... Ah?»

The memory of his childhood was so vivid that a moment ago Reynir felt as if he had just lived it. Over the past week, he had become used to talking to Onni like this, used to his peculiar accent, long pauses, and intense gaze at nothing. Although conversations were more like alternating monologues (at the beginning, Reynir tried to comment on finn's stories, but he immediately stopped talking and switched to something else), he liked them anyway. At last they were talking and listening to each other (he sincerely believed this, because he could not prove otherwise). The only thing Onni was willing to talk about was magic and the old world. And when it happened, his face was flushing with enthusiasm, stiffness and deliberate detachment were being replaced by confidence, giving way to barely discernible, but lively emotions. However, Reynir's knowledge of magic and other was still not enough for a good discussion. This time, he decided to switch to stories from his past, in the hope that it would awaken some response in Onni's soul. But judging by the expression on the other man's face: it didn't work out very well.

«Why are you telling me this?»

«Well, it was a funny story".

«And how could we use it now?»

«Does conversation have always to be useful?»

«Doesn't it?»

He opened his mouth, but Onni took a deep breath and held up a hand to stop him.

«Look, Reynir, we are in constant danger here. I don't know what occupies your mind most of the time, but I spend every spare minute analyzing the situation around us. And believe me, funny stories from the past are not worth risking our lives for."

«Sorry». Why did he always feel so stupid around him? Even when he knew deep down that he wasn't wrong or that his opinion could have a chance to exist.

He knew that Onni had no intention of offending him in any way. He was already used to this blunt honesty and rare, but very caustic remarks. At first, he has guessed Onni didn't care what the others thought of him, but there was just the opposite: he wanted to be thought of and thought of exactly as he needed to be. He pushed the others away from him with all his might, hiding any flicks of emotion behind bitter sarcasm or physiology. And at the same time, he was willing to help and support Mikkel and Emil, teaching him and Lally everything he knows, stoically endure any Sigrun's attacks, and when no one saw, gently stroked Kitty, sprawled on his lap.

The sun was at its zenith. The rest of the team went in search of something to eat, leaving them alone with Emil as security. Swede was sitting nearby, one by one throwing pebbles into a small hollow at the edge of their temporary camp. Reynir rested his head on his palms and studied the silence mage across from him, sitting motionless at the foot of a crooked tree.

Onni was five or seven years older than he was, but now, exhausted by past events and the long journey, thin and haggard, he looked more like a 15-year-old boy from Lally's dream than the advanced military mage Reynir had first met in dream world almost a year ago. Only his face now seemed dead: the sharp line of his mouth, the narrowed brows, the heavy eyelids from lack of sleep. And the eyes. The eyes of a man who had seen so much and suffered so often.

More than once he thought about why he wanted to go with Lalli, wanted to find Onni, wanted to help him. There was no answer. But one thing Reynir knew for sure: he would have given anything to see a smile on that gaunt face. That's why he started this stupid story. That's why he...

«I thought... You know, if you share your problems with your loved ones, it will certainly become easier. And if you share the joy with them, you can...»

«Loved ones?» The mage's eyebrows shot up, and the line of his mouth slid to the left.

«Doesn't it?» Reynir retorted, deliberately copying Onni's intonation.

«Don't try: it does not worth it. My loved ones don't live long».

Reynir didn't know whether he was more taken aback by the meaning of Onni's sentence or the calm, matter-of-fact tone in which he said it.


	5. Chapter 5

## 5

Perhaps this raid wasn't her best idea.

Mikkel has repeated five times that they shouldn't have paired up to investigate the village. «It's too dangerous, too reckless...» What did he only knows about danger? Self-confident Dane! They've come this far, and they're still alive. Ha! If only her mom knew what they were up to: she would throw a great party in their honor.

Moreover, she's calculated all: Mikkel will have fun being able to moralize Freckles all the way, Emil and Twig understand each other perfectly without speaking... everything is under control! She got a more difficult case, but she hoped that the language barrier would not interfere much with them. They weren't going to talk, after all. In addition, she had long wanted to see a military mage in action. A Finnish military mage.

In Norway, she had already worked with Icelandic klutzs. A dull sight. Don't go there, don't step on it, don't do it... Although, what did she want from cowardly women who knew everything about every creature from books, but never saw them live? (Just wonder if they're all like that?)

And here there was something interesting, she could smell it in her gut. Ten years of military work in the middle of monster-infested forests and swamps. He probably butchered pair of monsters every day. Before breakfast. Why else would he have dragged himself into this wilderness? She knew now that their book-exploring expedition was child's play compared to this one. And if she were in his shoes, she would reject that stupid, low-paying trip, too. She would have sent someone younger to take her place.…

She caught herself. Her left arm, just below the elbow, itched treacherously. Images from the past popped into her mind. Sigrun waved her head to the left, trying to drive them away, and her gaze skimmed over the ashen, tousled hair and tense face in the black protective mask. She had to swallow the lump in her throat.

Finn looked at her and nodded quickly, gesturing ahead. Probably decided that she was doubtful about choosing a route. Sigrun had seen a family photo of them once, just a glimpse, but she had thought they were very similar. She didn't think so now. What a strange thing life is. He was so far away, but he saved them in Denmark. She was a few steps away, but she didn't save his sister.

Now their task was very simple: as far as she understood from Mikkel's words, the huge beast that was being chased by their bird mage was stuck somewhere in the middle of a small half-rotted village located far away from other settlements. Little scout was sure that there were maximum three or five troll nests in it. There was a real chance to deal with the creature, driving it into a trap, and even have plenty of fun beating clumsy trolls. So Sigrun suggested that they split up, choosing the steepest route for herself. Onni had agreed to go with her, and she knew why. «We'll see who kills him first!»

They were unlucky with the weather. It was about noon, but black clouds covered the sky, plunging everything into darkness. Heavy rare drops fell from the sky, but the rain still hasn't start. The cold air stung her cheeks. She walked to the right of the lad and a little behind, watching his actions. He did not put on his fur cloak this time, leaving it with their other items at the temporary camp point. His clothes, badly worn, hung on him as if they belonged to someone bigger. Thick gloves were wrapped around the wrists with string to keep them from falling off. One hand clutched a sharp wooden spear, the other lay on the threads of a plank suspended from his belt. Some kind of magic tool. There was tension in his movements, but they were smooth and silent, heavy breathing came from behind the mask.

«Varo!» he shouted sharply and ran to the side. Whatever he said, she followed. The next moment, a dark beast on long hind legs flew out of the nearest house. Sigrun had only time to raise her pistol when Onni's spear pierced the beast's head.

«Hey, that's not fair! It was mine!»

Mage didn't even look at her. A shapeless shadow appeared on the threshold of the same building from which the first creature had sprung. Sigrun took aim and fired directly at the center of it. The shadow howled and began to fall out of the doorway into the street. One bullet was not enough for such a troll. Well, it's time to make some noise. 

She roared loudly and ran forward at the troll. Finn was no longer been visible by her, except for occasional orange flashes behind her back. Heady rage filled her eyes, the sword was an extension of her hand, and the bullets were her gaze. Somewhere in the distance, she heard the crackle of rifle shots, and at the very edge of the village, a tall, pointed building flashed like a match. The others didn't go that deep into the village – and rightly so. Let them leave the main battle to the professionals. 

She managed the first troll and several smaller ones. But after them gnarled creatures crawled out. Puffy and shaggy, long as centipedes, with a dozen heads and different sizes of limbs. Some was slowly crawling toward her, wiping his ancient body in blood on the road, some was jumping like a grasshopper, demolishing other creatures in its path. Whatever they were, they was surrounding her by a circle.

Suddenly a strong gust of wind came from somewhere to the side, knocking most of the beasts off their feet-paws-hands... and a lot of other things. She wanted to rush to finish them off, but then something grabbed her by the collar and dragged her back. Sigrun tried to pull away, but a strong hand only hurled her against the nearest wall. Onni. His wide opened eyes glowed unnaturally silver. He lost his spear. Mage gave her a quick glance, muttering something melodious under his breath. Then he turned to face the creatures and fell to his knees, throwing up his hands and hitting the ground by them with all his strength.

The ground gave way in a huge wave, like the surface of a lake where a rock was thrown. The trolls flew in all directions, freeing up space in front of them. The air around them burned with the sour bitterness that Sigrun associated with the machine workshop. Underfoot squelched shimmering with a rainbow of dirt. Gasoline.

«Seuraa mua!» Onni grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her toward the entrance to the nearest house. Lightning flashed in the sky. At the other end of the village, there was a massive explosion. She hoped Emil didn't accidentally blow up their little twig. Or Mikkel. And she would be sorry for Freckles, too.

«Ylös». Finn pointed to the remains of the stairs in the middle of the room. With his other hand, he untied the board from his belt. Something roared behind them. Turning, she saw a huge, bear-like monster waddle after them. Both forelegs were cut off in half, causing a significant portion of the torso to crawl on the ground, smearing its belly in mud. Finn's spear protruded from its neck. They could have finished it off right now, but there were too many other beasts around.

She was impatiently shoved in the ribs. «Eteenpäin!» Sigrun ran up the stairs as quickly as the rotten stairs would allow, distracted a couple of times by the creatures hiding in the stairwell, thrusting her sword into their faces. Onni followed her until the stairs ended. They were on the top floor, part of the walls and roof were missing, a crooked gray pipe protruded from the floor, and the remains of furniture lay in the corners. The bear-beast was approaching the doorway. Small creatures were already scrambling up the stairs, pushing each other impatiently and tumbling down. The rain increased.

«Don't you think we're trapped?» Empty. She had nothing to shoot with. Something jingled behind her. «Any suggestions?»

She turned and froze for a few seconds. Onni was on his knees, bent over his instrument. He ran his fingers along its threads, making music flow from under his hands. «Well, Sigrun, you wanted finnish magic – get it». Whatever he's up to, he'll definitely need time to do it. She raised her sword, roared loudly, and charged into battle.

She had once fought to music when her crew was clearing an open field bordered by burned forest. But it was the roar of drums and horns. Now she was enveloped in a swift, strumming melody, accompanied by a low, velvety voice. She didn't know a word of Finnish, but she didn't care. If only it worked, otherwise they are killed.

Suddenly the music stopped, but Onni's voice continued to sing, growing louder, rougher, more demanding, until it was cut off by a powerful thunderclap. A bright flash, then another. The street below have been ablaze. The monsters ran for cover, some of them blazing like torches. Overcome by adrenaline, Sigrun didn't even notice that she started laughing.

They did it. They survived.

She turned back. In the light of another flash, she saw the figure of the mage, his hands raised to the sky. His hair stood on end as if electrified, and his eyes glowed with cold fire. Next bolt of lightning struck the bear-beast directly, and it howled and fell to the ground, flaming. That was impressive!

After a moment, mage blinked and dropped his hands. The show was over.

Sigrun's blood was pounding in her temples. Her body was shaking with excitement, demanding some kind of emotional outburst. It was so cool that she was ready to scream, run around in circles and create any mess. She physically felt the need to share her feelings with the world around her.

As she ran closer to Onni, she noticed that he had already removed his mask. With his head thrown back, his eyes closed and his mouth opened, he inhaled the discharged air noisily and often, leaning his hand on the metal pipe. Rain drops ran down his face. If she didn't know him so well (as her father said, people are best known in battle), she would have thought he was going to faint. Well, no! It's just really hard to breathe in this mask. But now she had an amazing opportunity...

Sigrun leaned forward sharply, grabbed mage by the shoulders, and pulled him up to her, biting into his mouth with the most savory kiss she could muster.

This raid was definitely her best idea!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okey, I hope you enjoyed it!
> 
> Just wonder, is it okey for reading or I need a professional help with translation?
> 
> \----------------  
> varo - watch out  
> seuraa mua - follow me  
> ylös - up  
> eteenpäin - move on/forward


	6. Chapter 6

## 6

«Nice song».

«I thought you were asleep».

«It's hard to sleep when you know what will happen tomorrow. By the way, it is scientifically proven that before the fight...»

«Just stick to the plan and everything will be fine. Your task is…»

«...covering for Lally and Reynir. I remember».

«Mhm».

«Who's going to cover for you?»

«I can handle it by myself, thank you».

«Very presumptuous».

«It's none of your business».

«Mine, if I have to bury your cold corpse later…»

«Just leave it».

«...and comfort Reynir all the way home».

«Hmm. Yes, it will be more difficult».

«You know we came here because of you, right?»

«I guessed».

Onni was busily grinding the white petals in a bowl, using a stone instead of a pestle. Mikkel was no expert in herbs other than those that would make hay, but this one he knew well. Valerian. More of this, he had a bottle of her essence in his bag. And he could have given it to Onni. But he didn't ask him that, did he?

«So you're ready to die?»

«I will die tomorrow. There is nothing to prepare for».

«It's not funny».

«Does it look like I'm going to laugh?»

Finn looked at him defiantly, pouting like a goose. No, this dialogue will lead to nothing. Whatever he really felt, he would never admit it if asked directly.

It's been two days since they cleared the village. And the only one who has hurt — and even then, not from a troll - was Emil. A splinter bounced off the wall and smashed his shoulder. The skin broke and parted. The wound was harmless, but it wasn't pretty, and it made him desperate. And when Mikkel returned to their campsite and offered to help with the suture, Emil yelled as if he were going to cut him, not sew him up. Reynir explained the problem to Onni (who was blinking wearily) and Sigrun (who was looking bored), who have returned at last, and then, while their captain described each scene of their exciting battle with enthusiasm and color, the mage, with Lally's help, sat Emil down on a log in front of him and began to sew up the wound, humming to himself. The stitches were very neat. When Mikkel asked where he learned this, he wrinkled his nose in the usual manner and stated: «Is education in Denmark so worthless that you don't even know how to make your own coat?»

«Nice song».

«Since when do you know Finnish?»

«I don't know Finnish. But I have many brothers and sisters. And they're almost all younger than me. I know how to sing lullabies, and they can't be bad. Especially those who remember the old world. That's what yours is, isn't it?»

«I don't know. My mother sang it».

«I see. And when did you start singing it yourself?»

«When there had been no one who could do this for my sister».

He nodded. And this line of conversation led to the same place. Mikkel felt that Onni had a plan, something he had thought out long ago, but had not told them. This sly finn had already cheated him once, taking a promise from him that had brought them all to this place. He didn't want it to happen again, but it had to come.

After the battle in the village, the elder Hotakainen slept for almost two days. When he woke up, he said that they were tracked down. That they have little time and little chance of escaping. But, at the same time, he behaved as if this was exactly what he was counting on.

They had spent the past day preparing for the approaching hour of X, working out a plan of action. Mikkel, as always, had to speak it to Sigrun three times. Sometimes he didn't know what was going on in her head, but it wasn't usually a big deal. He felt good around her. Every time he fell asleep, he thought of her. Just like now. And he sincerely hoped that as a result of this adventure, they would go to Norway. Together. Well, maybe with Kitty. Leaving the finns and their buddies behind.


	7. Chapter 7

## 7

Disgusting.

Nasty. Weird. Stupid potion. Phew!

The last time he had drunk it was a long time ago, when his grandmother had been teaching him and Onni communicate to each other in dream world, but he still remembered that taste. It always helped to quickly fall asleep and not wake up for a long time. Onni hated it. He always panicked if he didn't see a way out. Grandmother said that was why he had learned to blend in with luonto so early: nothing teaches to run so fast and think so resourcefully as fear.

«Hello!»

An Icelander standing a few meters away on a wooden platform waved to him. Lally rose quickly to his feet, and the next moment was at his side.

«Go».

«Yes, yes, of course! This way». His red dog ran ahead of them, tongue out and drooling. They left Lally's dream and within a few steps were at the edge of a pine forest. Onni wasn't there yet. He needn't drink anything to be transported here. But something held him back. Probably he decided to double-check everything again.

«I wonder if all the forests in Finland used to be like this?»

«Mm-hmm. The ones I saw as a child - yes.»

«And then?»

«And then there was Keuruu.»

Icelander flushed slightly and shrugged. He was too close to him and Lally took a step away. Stupid idiot. Why had he come here with them, where a mere scratch might have killed him? Talks about trees, when in a few minutes they can be absorbed by Kade. Does he think it's all a game?

«Onni!» he called impatiently, throwing back his head.

«He's probably still taking his position.»

«What position?»

Icelander looked at him blankly. «Onni asked me to draw another protective rune, closer to the clearing. Said it will be his battle point.»

Lally had already opened his mouth, though he didn't know how to ask the right question, or whether to ask it at all, when an owl landed softly beside them.

«It's close». Turning back to his human form, Onni looked around, avoiding looking strictly at them. Purple sky was purple, the pines were pine, and the waters of the pool were wet. What did he expect to see? Lally stiffened, craning his neck.

«Why didn't you say you weren't going to be with us?»

«You didn't ask.»

«Who's with you?»

«Sigrun. Don't worry, we're in a good position. And as I said before, the main battle will not be there. Kade is not interested in ordinary people; he can't hurt them if he doesn't get too close. And it wouldn't happen.»

«Because we'll distract him!»

«Mhm».

Gangly stupid beamed like a child who has been praised for a crooked picture. His obsession with Onni was already infuriating Lally. How does Onni put up with it? If he had behaved the same way, Onni would have yelled at him long ago. Or not. Lally didn't know for sure, because he did his best not to annoying Onni. Especially when he was crying behind their barracks, hoping that no one would see him. Tuuri bugged him. And Onni always blew up on her.

He climbed up on a rock and stared into the water of the pond. Onni and Icelander were discussing something. He wasn't interested. He had to concentrate. Remove the emotion. Prepare. Only for what? He was in great discomfort and tension, and it seemed that if he relaxed, his hands would tremble. He had a weird feeling. Something was wrong. Lally pulled the fur closer around him.

There's nothing worse than waiting. And he hoped it wouldn't last long.

The sky above them turned black. So abruptly, as if someone had turned off the light. He jumped up from the rock, pulled out a knife and froze. Everything came to a standstill. And suddenly it burst into a terrible howl. The trees has swayed in the strong wind and smelled of rot and burning. The dog barked like a mad. Icelander shouted something over the deafening noise. Around him, the protective field glittered brightly. Onni flamed, turning into a huge bird's shadow and soaring upward. Black shadows crawled everywhere, and the water in the lake rippled. The howling stopped, but instead voices whispered from all sides.

CoMe To Us. hElP uS. sO hUrT. hElP...

He threw himself at one of the shadows, but his knife didn't hurt it, as if it were fighting the fog. He tried again, summoning luonto and causing a bright flash to illuminate everything around him. But it didn't change anything. He didn't know what to do. He absolutely didn't know what to do! Why didn't he know what to do?..

«Onni!»

The dog grabbed the edge of his tunic and pulled him toward Icelander. He was on his knees with a look of despair. A thin, lanky shadow tried to break through his barrier. The face was unrecognizable, but the sharp angles of the shoulders and long, thin fingers were clearly visible. It was as if the wind ruffled her long hair.

«Grandma...»

The shadow turned toward him, frozen for a moment, then howled, scattering in the air under Onni's wing, but immediately began to gather again.

Onni grabbed Reynir and Lally with his claws and carried them away from the lake, into the depths of his forest. Behind was heard the otherworldly whispers and screams of the shadows. Prickly branches scratched Lally's face, but brought him to his senses. If these are the shadows of those who were swallowed up by Kade, then their grandmother could have been there. But if they entered so easily into Onni space, then how could they be fought?

They landed in a small clearing. Onni stood before them again on his human form. His face was pale, and his eyes were silver.

«We need to get out of here. All these souls are now inside, but Kade himself is still behind the barrier. As long as it tries to get in here, we can attack it from behind.»

Stupid Icelander nodded nervously. Probably didn't understand what was going on. His dog ran out of the woods, whimpering. Eyes like saucers.

«This way!» Onni pushed them forward, where the trees ended abruptly, giving way to the darkness of the dream world.

Lally was already a couple of meters from the edge when his foot caught on a tree root. How is this possible? He never stumbled. He was sure that stupid root had not been there just a moment before.

Lally fell flat on the ground. He began to rise, when suddenly he was sharply pulled by the hood and spun 180 degrees. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the red dog fly off the cliff at speed, followed by its mage. Then Lally's face was buried in something warm, and the fur tickled his nostrils. Strong arms held him tightly, and a heart was pounding frantically under his ear. Lally pushed back with such force that solid hands slid over his shoulders. Lifting his head, he met the gray eyes that glistened with tears.

«Onni?»

«Forgive me».

Onni's hands gripped his shoulders and flung him back. Lally lost his footing and fell off the cliff. The last thing he saw before he went under the water was the glow of Onni's great wing, rushing back into the forest.


	8. Chapter 8

## 8

Flap. There is no place for feelings and emotions.

Flap. He has no margin for error.

Flap. He has a chance. Only one.

Reynir won't be able to break through his barrier before Kade does. Lally won't wake up in time to stop him in the living world.

He landed on a ledge of rock and looked down at the souls wandering below.

The rune of Reynir was very good. And appropriate. It shielded from the evil eye, from evil souls and dark forces. But it missed everything else. For example, the souls absorbed by Kade. They were lost, scared, but not angry. All he had to do was leading them in the right direction and lock them in.

Through his meditative sleep, he felt the burning gaze boring into his body, the Kade enveloping his protective barrier on all sides. As long as Lally and Reynir were hidden by another rune, It didn't feel them, nor did It see any danger in the people nearby. It just waited for Onni to run out of energy or for him to come out to It. And then It will regain all the souls, adding another one to them.

Kade was in no hurry. Unlike Onni.

«Hear my voice, lost souls,» the voices that buzzed in his ears like a swarm of bees in an apiary stopped. Everything seemed to freeze.

He remembered how Reynir had described in color the ritual of a Christian pastor to him. How a body twisted by disease, but still alive, with a soul enclosed in it, held in this terrible world only by faith, led away a horde of desperate shadows. How her soul was carried away with them by a strong flood of light.

«How long were you in the dark? How tired are you of your own crying? Look around. You are safe now. You are here to remember who you are. Look at this forest. This is your home. Yours, mages. You, who belong to the forest, follow me! I'll show you the way...»

If a dead, weak woman could do this, why couldn't he? Except she had already dead. He only had to do it.

On Toivosaari he had lacked of teachers. His grandmother taught him basic defensive and attacking techniques, communicating with the souls of the dead, finding the way, and managing luonto. Hilja – merging with nature, managing the elements. He didn't need more.

But everything was different in Keuruu. For the first three years, he was torn between training, military service, and taking care of Lally and Tuuri. He wasn't ready for this. His parents taught him how to cook, sew, raise cattle and harvest crops, get food in the woods, and handle small children. What to do in an emergency and how to behave with other people. But no one taught him what to do away from home with two children who lost everything they had overnight.

He plunged headlong into the study of defensive magic. There was so much he didn't know. He was so sure that he would need it all. Because deep down, he was afraid it would happen again, and he wouldn't be ready for it again. Because every night he heard, far away, but clearly, the cries of his friends and relatives, burning alive from disease and fire. And no matter how strong the walls of Keuruu seemed, as long as the thing that had destroyed their world lived behind them, he could not rest. He couldn't start a new life. He didn't even want to try to start it.

The shadows stared at him in disbelief. It didn't work. They didn't hear him. It was all for nothing...

And suddenly one of them, thin and lanky, reached out to him with transparent hands. With a strange gurgling sound, it swung them up and away from the ground. Its arms became wings, and its body shrank into the shape of a bird. It was followed by a larger one. Then the third. And now a flock of mismatched birds was circling around him.

He breathed a sigh of relief, feeling that he was smiling. If only grandma could see him now.

He stretched out his arms, closed his eyes, and began to sing. But not to the swan, not to the lost birds, and not to the gods. Merging for the last time with his luonto, he sang a farewell lullaby to his itse, asking the body to let it go on its last journey.

A bright light swept over everything. Soft feathers brushed his face and rustled over his owl wings. They were waiting for him. He would show them the way, and they would take him with them.

Only a few blinding moments and ice glistened beneath him instead of earth, but his legs burned with fire, and his body seemed to be torn from within by thousands of needles. There was an unpleasant metallic taste in his mouth. His luonto was rushing back — this is not it place. And Onni hardly had the strength to hold it. Either he will do it now, or all his efforts were in vain. Everything he did was in vain.

The huge swan in front of him shushed, raised its wings, but folded them again. He didn't know what it was thinking, or if it was thinking at all. He clenched his teeth and raised his hands, shielding the souls he had taken from Kade. Souls, whose brought him here themselves. Swan couldn't have known that. He desperately hoped so. If only he has been lucky enough...

«You've been waiting for these souls,» Onni said as harshly as he could, but his voice trembled treacherously. «They're here. And I brought them here.»

The swan cocked its neck and looked at him appraisingly with its left eye.

«Nicely... What do you want, mortal? I'm listening…»


	9. Chapter 9

## 9

He thought he was blind when a bright flash of light tore through the sky. Just a bright flash — and the dead silence that followed.

Wiping his eyes, he looked at Mikkel, who was tapping his rifle nervously. Sigrun patted him lightly on the shoulder.

«Don't get scared. It doesn't mean anything.»

«Onni! Where is Onni?»

«Or maybe it does...»

They all turned to look to the two mages, lying in the center drawn by Reynir rune. Lally, dangerous staggered, tried to rise to his feet. Mikkel caught him by the arms and pulled him out of the circle. Lally jabbed a frantic finger into Sigrun's chest, then turned to face him and said, in a slurred voice:

«Miks… se on täällä?!»

«What does he want?»

«Asked why are you here and where is Onni».

«What nonsense, where else should I be?! Mikkel, get him to the clearing, quick! Emil - cover them. Don't stick your head out right away, it can be dangerous. I'll try to stir up Freckles.»

He swallowed and ran after Mikkel. Kitty meowed belligerently after them. Lally broke free of the Dane's grasp and ran through the trees to where his cousin was supposed to be. And he was there.

The ground around Onni was strewn with scraps of age-grayed cloth. In places, they had the same patterns as the Finns' clothes. The rune's outline was blurred, and the flowers and plants around it were withered. The mage lay on his back, arms outstretched. The eyes were wide open, staring lifelessly at the sky.

«ONNI!»

Lally dropped to his knees beside his cousin and froze. His mouth opened, closed, and then opened again, spewing out a stream of words that were hard to guess behind the desperate sobs. He began to pound Onni's chest with all his might. Mikkel grabbed him and lifted into the air. Lally jerked a couple of times, kicked the Dane in the stomach, and went limp. His face showed nothing but pain.

Mikkel put Lally on the ground and knelt down in front of Onni. He felt his neck, put head to his chest, listened and pulled off his mask, from under which a thin stream of blood flowed to his ear, then Dane pulled back, exhaled bitterly, and with one movement of his hand closed Onni eyelids.

«Is he...»

Mikkel just nodded. Words were unnecessary. Lally was breathing heavily at his feet, muttering to himself. Sigrun stepped out into the clearing, holding by the waist Reynir, who was yawning widely. They stood before the view, which was opened their eyes. There was a painful silence that lasted only a few seconds. Reynir began to sob.

For the first time, Emil felt genuinely sorry for him. He lowered his head and crouched down, hugging Lally, who didn't even try to resist.

«We need to bury him,» Sigrun looked timidly at Mikkel. He spread his hands.

«Not here. Reynir, stop crying and put on your mask immediately.»

«Do you think this thing is dead?»

«Most likely. Look at the cat - she's obviously calm.»

«All right. Come on, guys, let's get out of here. Mikkel, you'll have to carry him.»

«I'm not surprised.»

Mikkel leaned over Onni and suddenly froze. Emil followed his gaze and squealed. The mage's eyes were open again. The next second, he turned on his left side and coughed blood.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> O'K, so... who will be our next storyteller?
> 
> \----------------------------  
> Miks… se on täällä? - Why... is she here?


	10. Chapter 10

## 10

The owl mage was still asleep. Sometimes he opened his eyes, staring blankly at the sky, or muttering something in his own language. His lean relative was always there, saying something in response or calling, but he fell asleep again. The owl rested with him.

A wave of nervousness was spreading through the camp, some people were restless from waiting (and, consequently, she could not find a place on them), while others were busy trying to calm, warm and feed the first ones (and they did not let her near them, although she was always ready for affection, warmth and food). So she increasingly curled up in a ball on the mage's chest before going to sleep.

There was amazing warmth from him that she hadn't felt before. No, she did, but not from him. Much earlier, when she was still a kitten. When she hadn't met the owl mage yet. Sometimes it raged inside him, burning and twitching, but he clung to it, not letting it go, even though it prevented him from waking up.

Mikkel, big and warm, seemed to spend even more time with the redhead. They often sat around the fire, huddled together and smiling at their words. Sometimes the woman waved her hands, but without any previous enthusiasm, as if showing the way or fending off an annoying fly. Whatever they decide, Mikkel wouldn’t go anywhere without her. Who else would he combing out?

Kitty snorted and buried her nose in the fur collar. The tips of her ears were pleasantly tickled by the deep, heavy breathing of a man. How could she help him? She licked his chin, which was covered with short fur. In his sleep, he put his hand on her head and gently scratched her behind the ear.

«Aistitko sinäkin hänet... joo?» he whispered, and fell back into sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meow!
> 
> \-------------------------  
> Aistitko sinäkin hänet... joo? - Do you sense her, too... yes


	11. Chapter 11

## 11

Water lily. Yellow water lilies. Stone ledges, slender trunks of pine trees stretching to the sky. A thick layer of moss, which is so soft and pleasant to sit on. Everything was as before. The lake was covered with fog, and the neighboring banks seemed endless. How big is Onni's dream world? It isn't native to him, but so familiar and cozy.

Its owner sat across from him, his chin resting on his crossed hands.

«I just want to…»

«I don't think you can help me now.»

«But there must be some way.»

«I don't know, I didn't have time to ask.»

«Does she know?»

Onni sighed and picked up a flat stone. Turning it over in his fingers, he tossed it and caught it with his other hand.

«She knows everything I know. At the moment we look like a single unit. And she's as scared as I am.»

«But why can't you just let her out?»

«Where? The soul needs a body, you know? It can't wander around for long, otherwise it loses itself, forgets where it came from and why. Not for this I brought her here. I can't lose her again!»

Reynir lowered his head, and his bangs fell across his forehead, hiding his gaze from Onni, whose face was so clearly marked by an expression of boundless despair. Leaves rustled in the trees. The tip of his braid touched the water of the lake, rippling it.

«So you need a body.»

«Yes, but I don't think we'll find it here in the Silent world.»

«We will carry you to the nearest settlement and there…»

«No, that crazy sentinel with the gulls won't let you in with me. There is a great risk that I am infected.»

«Mikkel examined you, this thing didn't hurt you.»

«Kade is not a thing. And this is not some ordinary troll. No one knows for sure what it is capable of.»

«What it was capable of.»

«Mhm.» Onni leaned forward and closed his eyes. The fingers of his left hand tapped on the gripped stone. Reynir had to make an effort not to run, to squeeze Onni's hand in his own. He took a deep breath.

«We'll find out of something else.»

«Reynir, stop it. Even if you take me out of here, where will you find the body? None of you... of us know what to do next. I feel better, but I don't think I can return to consciousness for very long – I might accidentally lost her.» Reynir could have sworn he saw a drop fall from Onni's face, drowning in the thick moss. «Let's face it – I made a terrible stupid mistake.»

«You didn't know it would turn out this way.»

«Yes, I didn't know. And if you weren't here, I would have already died, remained lying in that clearing. And would doom her soul and mine to…»

«But we were here. Onni...» Reynir swallowed. «Gods, if only it were possible to create the body... to give birth to it just as everything else was born…»

The stone slipped from Onni's hand and landed with a crash in the water. Reynir looked up at his face. All the same impenetrable, but in a moment brightened. The right corner of his lip lifted slowly.

«Certainly…»

The mage leaped to his feet in one swift movement, walked over to him in a split second, and, grabbing his head at the temples, leaned over. His breath was hot, and his eyes were wet and glowing. Reynir felt something drop in the pit of his stomach and closed his eyes, realized that he was blushing. Onni kissed his forehead, then shifted his face so that their foreheads touched. Reynir opened his mouth in anticipation... in hope…

«Reynir, if only I had a chance... if my life had been any different...» there was no bitterness in his voice, but there was no excitement, only longing. «I swear, I would give a lot to have a friend like you.»

Reynir felt cold and empty where Onni's hands had lain, and his hot breath was replaced by a light touch of wind. Even before he opened his eyes, he knew that Onni has awaken.

«Did I... say something wrong?»


End file.
